


Dan Gets Decked

by VickeyStar



Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: BAMF Gabi Morningstar, But it takes a while, Dan was a dick this season, Happy Ending, Probable Overuse Of Italics, and tries to make it better, danny boy fucked up, good intentioned stalking, jesus hippopotamus christ, keeping us awake, past morning, season 4, so thats a thing, theres an annoying roomba, this is our reaction, we're suckers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-02
Updated: 2019-06-02
Packaged: 2020-04-06 13:26:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,603
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19063600
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VickeyStar/pseuds/VickeyStar
Summary: Even after all is forgiven, it becomes part of the recruits’ pamphlet that the endless supply of green tea must be restocked whenever it gets close to running out, and do not even think of drinking any of it.It is not for you, and knowing who it is for is privileged information.But feel free to look around the bullpen, and take a wild guess.





	Dan Gets Decked

**Author's Note:**

> This was supposed to be a quick one shot of Gabi punching Dan for being a douche this season.   
> Like really.   
> He's a real asshole this season and we don't like it.   
> We like Dan, just not when he's an asshole.   
> But yeah, this is much longer than we thought it would be.   
> Enjoy!  
> ~SleevesCakes/VickeyStar  
> PS: I might kill a roomba tonight. ~VickeyStar  
> PPS: Please don't. ~Sleef

She texts Chloe, asking where Dan is.

**Complicated Decker: He should be at work today. Why?**

**Me: Thnx.**

Gabi walks into the Los Angeles Police Department with purpose, looking for one pudding-laden man.

“Hey Dan, we need to talk.”

She doesn’t wait for him to follow her, doesn’t even look at him as she walks past his desk to one of the empty offices with the blinds pulled shut.

The second he closes the door behind them, she decks him in the face.

“What the hell, Gabi?” Dan exclaims, unprepared as he holds a hand to his already bruising face.

“That’s for sending men to kill Lucifer.”

It’s almost amusing to the angel to see Dan go so still, so quickly.

“I don’t know what you’re—”

“Cut the bullshit.”

He stares at her for a moment, and then he deflates.

“Look, Gabi, I—”

“Lucifer didn’t kill Charlotte.”

His gaze snaps to her face, her eyes meeting his with a fury.

“Charlotte died saving Amenadiel’s life. Charlotte died making a heroic, and admittedly stupid, choice. Don’t you _dare_ make her into some kind of pawn in a game you can’t even see. Lucifer did not kill Charlotte. Lucifer did not play any part in causing Charlotte’s death. Lucifer does not deserve the shit you’ve been putting him through these past few months, for the simple reason that you can’t get over your own shit.”

Dan stares at her, wanting to be angry, but all his anger fades at the sight of the tears threatening to fall from her furious eyes.

“Stop blaming Lucifer for things that aren’t his fault.”

Dan doesn’t get the chance to respond as she silently moves past him, opening the office door and walking away.

Dan turns around to watch her leave, seeing her wave a concerned Ella off.

Ella follows the girl’s path back to Dan, and gives him one of the dirtiest looks he’s ever seen.

_Well, shit._

~*~

Lucifer corners him in the small but quiet kitchenette of the precinct.

“Look, detective, you can take your grief out on me all you’d like, but I draw the line at my siblings.”

Dan frowns, already in a bad mood.

“Lucifer, what are you talking about?”

The ‘devil’ stands at his full height, quirking an eyebrow at the detective.

“Would you like to explain why I found my sister trying not to cry in the elevator on my way into the office this morning?”

_Crap._

Dan cringes, putting his coffee on the counter as he puts his head in his hands.

“Did I really make her cry?” he asks, looking at the other man.

Lucifer pauses, a semi-concerned look on his face.

“What happened, Detective?”

~*~

“How should I apologize?” Dan asks the bewildered Lucifer.

The ‘devil’ shrugs, leaning against the counter as he watches the bullpen.

“Honestly, I don’t know. It’s been eons since I’ve seen her that upset, I don’t really remember the whole ‘nonliteral-kissing-ass’ part of our arguments.”

Dan lets out a pitiful groan as Chloe calls out to Lucifer, the ‘devil’ giving Dan a hard pat on the back before leaving.

~*~

“I don’t really know her all that well.” Ella says, elbow-deep in rotted… something.

“If it were you. What would you want me to do if I made you cry.” Dan tries, ready to just be _done_ with this whole day.

“Well, I’d start by figuring out what upset her, and just _not_ doing that.” Ella suggests, serenely giving… actually pretty good advice while removing some kind of skull from whatever muck she’s digging around in.

“Okay.” Dan says to himself, thanking Ella and leaving.

“Just be nice to Lucifer. That’s all you gotta do, Danny boy.”

He gets some weird looks from the cops around him, and he realizes that he’s talking to himself.

_Shit._

~*~

Lucifer’s _milking_ this.

The ‘devil’ picked up on what he was trying to do an hour into doing it.

He doesn’t even know how Gabi’s gonna hear about this, but he doesn’t want to risk giving her more reasons to cry, so he spends his week sucking it up and getting the papers that Lucifer asks for, no matter how many times Lucifer asks for them.

“ _Yes_ , Lucifer. I can _totally_ help with that.”

“ _No_ , Lucifer. It’s really no trouble at _all._ ”

Chloe almost asks a couple of times, even telling Lucifer to “stop wasting Dan’s time,” but eventually just gives the other detective a defeated shrug.

~*~

“Knives.”

Dan listens to the dial tone as Maze hangs up.

~*~

He knows what he’d do if she was Trixie, which is why he buys the double fudge ice cream cake that’s taking up half the room in his freezer.

He doesn’t let Trixie know about it.

~*~

Gabi follows Lucifer to work the next day, thankfully.

Dan is extra _extra_ nice to the ‘devil’ whenever she’s within hearing range, opening doors for them and getting the two of them some top-shelf coffee he’d managed to hide in the kitchenette.

“Thanks.”

She accepts the coffee, and he can immediately tell she hates it.

Lucifer snickers behind him, until Gabi sends him a thin glare as she sips the burning hot drink, getting some whipped cream on her nose.

She wipes the cream off of her nose in time to tell Dan not to get up, “Lucifer’s a big boy, I’m sure he can find some paper.”

Lucifer stops milking it.

_Thank Gabi._

~*~

Dan’s in that weird in-between.

He’s kind of proud of this one, but at the same time, he’s decidedly _not_ proud of this one.

It’s honestly one of his worst ideas yet.

He’s stalking her.

_Tailing._

For _research_ purposes.

Judging by the small smile she sent over her shoulder, gaze on the ground, she knows he’s behind her.

If she didn’t want him doing it, she’d say so, or she’d disappear.

She just smiles.

~*~

He watches her buy another bottle of green tea with honey, making a show of discussing the brand and bottle design with the store owner, in a slightly louder voice than usual.

_Oh._

He grins, making note and taking a picture on his phone.

Dan follows her out of the store, into a clothing store where she pulls one of Lucifer’s many credit cards out and buys some clothing, mostly sticking to sleeveless, faded shirts with Disney characters on them. She picks up a shirt, smiling a bit at the sight of Mickey and Minnie Mouse hugging on the front of it.

She hesitates in the dress area, throwing a few club and formal dresses into her cart (that show _way_ too much _skin_ , how could Lucifer let her _wear_ that, she’s a _teenager_ , for Christ’s sake—) as she makes her way to the exit.

Gabi pauses by the jewelry section, reaching halfway out toward a necklace that he can’t see, and she pulls her hand back as Dan sees the expression on her face.

Pure wonderment and longing.

He has an idea.

~*~

At first he thinks it’s the Mickey necklace.

Small, clearly fake crystals of four different colors, if white even is a color anymore, showing a smiling Mickey Mouse on a thin, copper chain.

He’s reaching for it when he sees the real wonder.

It’s a turtle necklace.

An athemyst the size of Trixie’s thumb in the middle of the necklace, surrounded by smaller gems and stones as the turtle’s shell.

The thin, silver string goes through the sides of the turtle’s head, with silver arms and legs with a tail at the bottom of the turtle.

“Those can’t be real.” He breathes, pulling it toward him.

“They are.”

He turns around to find Amenadiel, and first of all, where the _fuck_ has he been, second of all…

“Jesus, man, you scared me!”

Amenadiel chuckles deeply, giving Dan a small smile.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to. But those gems are all real. In fact, the necklace looks familiar. I can’t remember where I’ve seen it, though.”

Dan checks the price tag to see a small $20 on the back of the cardboard.

“I guess they don’t know that.” He mutters, holding the necklace as he gestures for Amenadiel to follow him to the checkout line.

“So how’ve you been, dude, you kinda just fell off of the radar for a bit.”

Amenadiel shrugs, and that is in and of itself, an answer.

Dan nods.

They’re silent for a bit before Amenadiel speaks.

“Why are you buying a necklace? I don’t think that’ll fit around your neck very comfortably, and you seem to be on good terms with Chloe.”

Dan doesn’t hesitate.

“I did some shit that made Gabi cry and now I’m trying to make it up to her.”

Amenadiel frowns. “I haven’t seen her cry since Lucifer fell. She still hasn’t gotten over that.”

Dan frowns in return. “Then what the hell am I supposed to do?”

Amenadiel shrugs.

“Pray to my father that she’ll find it in herself to forgive you.”

He buys the necklace.

~*~

Gabi and Lucifer disappear for a few days, Chloe saying something about an old friend in town, whatever _that’s_ supposed to mean, and Dan gets his shit together.

“Okay. I’ve got… A really big ice cream cake, a stash of that weird green tea, and…”

He stares at the two, _very_ different items next to the small army of bottles.

A kitchen knife set, and some deadly weaponry.

He puts both in the basket.

Best case, she’s armed and able to defend herself.

Worst case, she learns how to cook.

Dan isn’t taking any chances.

~*~

The last time anyone tried to outright _give_ Gabi anything, she blushed bright red and refused it on the spot.

Dan can’t very well ask for her forgiveness with gifts if he can’t give her any.

Lucifer notices his struggle, finally _hrumph_ ing as he grabs the slightly chilled tea bottle from Dan’s hands.

“Watch and learn, detective.” Lucifer says, a slightly mischievous look in his eye.

Dan simply smiles back.

Huh.

_When did that happen?_

Dan shakes his head, deciding to ponder when he and Lucifer became friends at a different date.

He watches the other man approach the teenager, Gabi in deep conversation with Chloe as they eat the Mongolian barbeque that Lucifer had brought in for their lunch break.

Lucifer puts the bottle on the table after Gabi’s drank all of her sprite, swiftly trading the bottles as Chloe keeps the girl distracted.

Dan watches as Lucifer nudges the bottle closer and closer to the girl, and the next time she reaches for a drink, her hand bumps into it.

“Oh! Thanks, bro.”

She smiles at Lucifer, going back to her conversation with Chloe like nothing happened.

Lucifer walks back over to Dan, looking very much like the cat that ate the canary.

“So what, I just gotta get you and Amenadiel to give her the gifts? How does that make any sense?” Dan asks, confused.

Lucifer sighs, as he does everything else, dramatically.

“Put the gifts in her life. Don’t acknowledge them, don’t discuss them, don’t bring them up at a later date. Just put the tea in the fridge and discretely make it clear to everyone else who it is for. She’ll see it, and she’ll know.” Lucifer explains, watching Dan’s face as he thinks about it.

“Thanks, Lucifer.”

Lucifer nods with a smile as Dan walks away to scheme.

~*~

Part of his army of bottles moved to the precinct’s fridge, he also adds some to Chloe’s apartment as a precaution, keeping boxes of the stuff in both areas including his house.

Thank whatever deity you want that they cost seventy-three cents.

~*~

He recruits Lucifer for his next big trick, asking him about birthdays.

“Well,” Lucifer drawls, “I think Amenadiel’s is coming up pretty soon.”

Dan quirks an eyebrow.

“Does she know that?”

Lucifer shrugs.

“Everyone loves a good party.”

~*~

Dan pulled Trixie from school for this.

They fill everyone in on the details, and when Amenadiel had the time to make friends with literally _everyone_ in the precinct, he has no idea, but everyone brings gifts and party hats.

“Surprise!” Gabi shouts along with everyone else, and Amenadiel is genuinely surprised.

Dan lets Trixie have a couple extra slices, ensuring that she’s spending the night with him, Chloe not able and Maze not willing to deal with the sugar high the child will definitely get.

He sees the grin on Gabi’s face, and thinks: _Worth it._

~*~

He breaks into Lucifer’s penthouse for his next trick, and to be honest, it ain’t actually that hard.

He sneaks past the bartenders preparing for the night, and as long as he doesn’t see Maze, he’s fine.

Dan steps into the elevator and presses the button.

~*~

He doesn’t know if she actually _lives_ here, but the only other places he knows she hangs out are the precinct and Chloe’s apartment, and both already have a knife block.

Neither—Well.

Maze would steal them, and he’s pretty sure the new recruit in the filing department is ready to cut a bitch.

He doesn’t really see a kitchen anywhere, not brave enough to actively search, so he leaves the knife block and thin-yet-lethal daggers and sheathes on the bar.

He sees Gabi wearing one of the sheathes, wrapped around her ankle, a few days later.

Lucifer brings homemade fruit salad for lunch, that day.

Gabi sends Dan a smile, looking at his already healed cheek.

Progress.

~*~

There isn’t really an inconspicuous way to give her the necklace, without being a total creep.

He asks Lucifer over weekly poker, and again, _when did this happen_ , but the ‘devil’ suggests a staged kidnapping.

He’s gotta learn to stop asking Lucifer for help.

Dan’s dialing Maze’s number when he remembers Lucifer’s response, hanging up before the call can go through.

Amenadiel it is, then.

Wherever he is.

~*~

“Just give it to her.”

Dan stares at him.

“Just… give it to her?”

Amenadiel shrugs, eyes not leaving the necklace as he grins.

“Yes, Dan, just walk up to her, and give it to her. Say nothing. Do nothing else. If she hugs you, hug back. If she speaks to you, speak back.”

Dan thinks about it before nodding.

“Alright. I can do that.”

~*~

He gives it to her.

It’s like everything around them has stopped, as Gabi stares at the necklace he’s placed in her hands, and he can see Lucifer in the corner of his eye, ready to do damage control.

Dan focuses on Gabi, who is staring right back at him.

Her eyes fill with tears, and he’s sure that Lucifer’s about to kick his ass when she pulls him into a hug.

“ _Thank you_.”

It’s a whisper, but the emotion he hears in her voice tells him he made the right decision.

He helps her put the necklace on, she smiles, and—

_What?_

Dan could’ve sworn, just for a _second_ …

Her eyes flashed purple.

He stares deeply into her brown ( _brown, goddammit!_ ) eyes as she grins at him, too happy for words.

Her face goes serious for a moment.

“This doesn’t mean you can start being mean to Lucifer if he doesn’t deserve it again.”

The smile’s back in an instant, as Lucifer and Chloe enter the conversation.

~*~

Even after all is forgiven, it becomes part of the recruits’ pamphlet that the endless supply of green tea must be restocked whenever it gets close to running out, and do _not_ even _think of drinking any of it_.

It is not for you, and knowing who it _is_ for is privileged information.

But feel free to look around the bullpen, and take a wild guess.

edn


End file.
